How To Break Free From The ‘Chain Of Fools’

 How To Break Free From The ‘Chain Of Fools’

In 1967 R&B legend and royalty, Aretha Franklin sang the words “Five long years I thought you were my man. But I found out I’m just a link in your chain. You got me where you want me I ain’t nothing but your fool.” on her epic single “Chain of Fools”. Written by song writer extraordinaire, Don Covey, specifically for Franklin. ‘Chain of Fools’ topped pop and blues charts and went on to win a Grammy. In fact, this rendition by Franklin was inducted into Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. With a gospel feel she sings of being taken advantage of by a seemingly professional con man posing as her new found love. It is a scenario all too familiar for us all. Whether in relationships, friendships or business partnerships we all have endured the sting of being mislead.

This song has a sort of nostalgia as I recall my youth. I remember Saturday morning cartoons and the oldies playing on the radio. We had a blast singing to this song even though at that age, we had no idea what betrayal was. As we grow and experience life, we become connected to people for a variety of reasons. We work with them, we hang out with them, and we are related to them. Our lives intertwine and before you know it, we have forged tight bonds. Out of nowhere we are blindsided by an accusation, an argument or some times, a shocking revelation. That’s when we can really relate to the queen, Aretha Franklin in her second verse;

“Every chain has got a weak link.
I might be weak child, but I’ll give you strength.”

At some point we all feel that it comes down to them, or us. We are pushed into the corner once too often and we respond with a mindset that finally understands we have to take care of ourselves. We snap back to our senses and if we do not handle it correctly, we can further damage ourselves. Here are a few steps to remember as you decide to sever yourself from the ‘chain of fools’:

1.  When breaking the chain, remember to operate in forgiveness: Once you come to grips with being made a fool of, you experience a flood of emotions. From rage to guilt to shame, you will run the gambit of feelings. It is very important to come from a place of grace and forgiveness of all the parties involved. And that includes YOU! Often as we struggle to forgive others, we never consider the option to forgive ourselves. Let them and yourself off the hook today.

2.  As the chains fall, you must replace the behaviors with new ones: As with any transition, the most vulnerable time is immediately following a drastic change. When you take one habit or behavior away, it is important to replace it quickly with a better and more positive one. As I look back on my life, I know exactly when I made a change and failed to rearrange my daily habits. And each time I didn’t, I suffered in some way. We are creatures of habit, and left alone we can be our own worst enemy.

3.  Hurt people hurt people: The reason the above principle of forgiveness is so vital to our growth is because without it, we cannot truly heal ourselves. Think of each relational confrontation as a tear on your soul. As each one is experienced, it leaves another mark on you inwardly. Even after you survive, you are left in a damaged state. If you do not allow yourself time to recoup, you will end up behaving much like the ones who hurt you.

Franklin closes her ballad of struggle by saying, “One of these mornings the chain is gonna break. But up until then, yeah, I’m gonna take all I can take. Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools.” Fortunate for us we have our own past history and the mentorship of wise people around us so we don’t have to simply wait around to take all we can take. Let’s use our network of empowered souls to free one another and live the life we can look back on and be proud of.

© 2013, Cherese L. Jackson. All rights reserved.