A few years ago my husband and I, as is our custom, stepped out for dinner and a movie. It had been a particularly challenging week so we both were in the mood for something funny. We had a ball watching an incredible actor, Jim Carey do his thing in the movie ‘Yes Man’. Jim stepped into the role of depressed bank loan officer Carl Allen.
Carl is down in the dumps due to a recent divorce and the fact he just doesn’t feel his life is moving. Feeling stuck, he watches his close friends around him experience a fulfilled life and openly longs for the same. He eventually stumbles onto the success Guru Terrence Bundley during his self help rally. Bundley challenges Carl to take a covenant of ‘Yes’. Meaning every opportunity life brings, he is to accept it with open arms with a resounding YES!
Carl has no idea how a one simple syllable word will drastically transform his small life. Layer after layer of freedom unfolds for Carl and he quickly learns that a life spent more freely can directly impact his closest relationships. As my husband and I drove home, we began chatting about new ways our lives could open up, just by simply making more deliberate choices. Here are some points I discovered:
1. Not making a decision in life is actually making a decision: For whatever reason, we go back and forth in life over thinking situations. We make them harder than they really should be. In life, I have learned to make a notation of the pros and cons of a situation, weigh the consequences and make a move. It’s really not that hard. Use the ‘worse case scenario’ theory and look at it objectively. But don’t wait too long, the facts will get muddled and cause you to become mentally paralyzed.
2. Stop living your life by committee: I am always amazed how often people open their critical life decisions to a majority vote with their friends. Where should I move? Should I marry him? Do you all think I am ready for kids? And then they poll people for their opinion when they don’t have a part in the consequence. That’s just foolish. It is fine to have a close circle of friends that you consult with. Those who know you well, and can be truthful. But ultimately the decision must be yours. You have to live with the way things turn out.
3. The power to say yes or no is yours: I read once, “A realistic no is far better than a fake yes.” What I took from that is when you take accountability for your life you have to also take accountability for your time. This means you will have to learn to say no at times. Guarding your time is the quickest way to securing a better life. People, without bad intentions, will use up your time and resources and you end up with nothing. We have to manage boundaries and use the power of no. No doesn’t mean I am cruel, just that I understand that my time is valuable as well.
‘Yes Man’ was a really funny flick. We laughed, but along the way I caught some gems that have made life a little easier. We can invest so much time in being a ‘people pleaser’ that we miss out on living our lives. I am convinced there is a balance that we all can strike in life that enables us to be a blessing to those around us while enjoying the benefits of a life of freedom ourselves.
Cherese Jackson
No comments:
Post a Comment