Get Out Of Your Own Way

Life can feel at times like an obstacle course. We are ducking and dodging issues surrounding our personal life, business relationships and even our families. If we are not careful, we can trip and sustain some serious injuries. But much like anything else, a few passes and some experiences make all the difference in the world.

As a coach I spend a lot of time connecting with people about the various challenges in their lives. I have adapted a line of questioning early on in our sessions that help us cut through the red tape and get to the matters at hand. For instance, instead of asking the question “What is wrong?” I prefer to ask, “What is in your way?” It always amazes me the amount of stuff we feel is really stopping our momentum. But the reality is, nothing can stop us, but ourselves. I would go as far as to say it boils down to the things we ‘perceive’ to be real, but aren’t.

The majority of most problems can be divided like this; 90% of what’s wrong is how we see it. So from the job that you hate so much to the family member you just can’t seem to reconcile with, it’s all about perception. To truly rise up and get out of our own way, we will need to adjust the way we see (3) major things:

1. We have to change the way we see our fears:  Think about the things you’re afraid of. Where did you get the information about them? I believe that fear is half misinformation and the other half no information at all. I used to be fearful of heights but had never been high enough to experience it myself? Instead I just psyched myself into it. It was a matter of no information. Once I got up there myself, I was able to form my own opinion. 
2. We have to change the way we see our faults: Fault finding is at an all time high! Everything is someone else’s fault so we are not held accountable. We have traditionally assessed fault from the outside in. Meaning we associate our fate to be directly connected to someone’s actions. A more healthy way to view faults is to remove them from people and see them as events. Events that happened to us but will not define us. Once we remove the emotionalism from the action, we can better understand it. Don’t spend time finding faults, use that energy to create solutions.
3. We have to change the way we see our failures:  Failure is the toll you pay on the bridge of greatness. I challenge you to find a story of incredible accomplishment that isn’t tied to a string of failures. Dr John Maxwell says, “People view failure as a final destination instead of a bump in the road to success.” The legendary household cleaner Formula 409 is said to have that name because its creators failed on the first 408 formulas. Imagine how hollow life would be if we only tried great acts once. There would be no innovations to speak of.

We’ve all been in the position of life where we felt it was another’s reason we weren’t further along. We have put the party hats on and hung streamers for our own personal pity party. What’s crazy is no matter how many of those parties you have, they never seem to satisfy. You know why? Because deep down inside we know it’s the ‘enemy in me’ that is to blame. The good news is we can now get up, dust off our clothes and proceed to victory. We are finally getting out of our own way!

© 2013, Cherese L. Jackson. All rights reserved.