Friday, May 3, 2013
Get Out Of Your Own Way
Life can feel at times like an obstacle course. We are ducking and dodging issues surrounding our personal life, business relationships and even our families. If we are not careful, we can trip and sustain some serious injuries. But much like anything else, a few passes and some experiences make all the difference in the world.
As a coach I spend a lot of time connecting with people about the various challenges in their lives. I have adapted a line of questioning early on in our sessions that help us cut through the red tape and get to the matters at hand. For instance, instead of asking the question “What is wrong?” I prefer to ask, “What is in your way?” It always amazes me the amount of stuff we feel is really stopping our momentum. But the reality is, nothing can stop us, but ourselves. I would go as far as to say it boils down to the things we ‘perceive’ to be real, but aren’t.
The majority of most problems can be divided like this; 90% of what’s wrong is how we see it. So from the job that you hate so much to the family member you just can’t seem to reconcile with, it’s all about perception. To truly rise up and get out of our own way, we will need to adjust the way we see (3) major things:
- We have to change the way we see our fears: Think about the things you’re afraid of. Where did you get the information about them? I believe that fear is half misinformation and the other half no information at all. I used to be fearful of heights but had never been high enough to experience it myself? Instead I just psyched myself into it. It was a matter of no information. Once I got up there myself, I was able to form my own opinion.
- We have to change the way we see our faults: Fault finding is at an all time high! Everything is someone else’s fault so we are not held accountable. We have traditionally assessed fault from the outside in. Meaning we associate our fate to be directly connected to someone’s actions. A more healthy way to view faults is to remove them from people and see them as events. Events that happened to us but will not define us. Once we remove the emotionalism from the action, we can better understand it. Don’t spend time finding faults, use that energy to create solutions.
- We have to change the way we see our failures: Failure is the toll you pay on the bridge of greatness. I challenge you to find a story of incredible accomplishment that isn’t tied to a string of failures. Dr John Maxwell says, “People view failure as a final destination instead of a bump in the road to success.” The legendary household cleaner Formula 409 is said to have that name because its creators failed on the first 408 formulas. Imagine how hollow life would be if we only tried great acts once. There would be no innovations to speak of.
We’ve all been in the position of life where we felt it was another’s reason we weren’t further along. We have put the party hats on and hung streamers for our own personal pity party. What’s crazy is no matter how many of those parties you have, they never seem to satisfy. You know why? Because deep down inside we know it’s the ‘enemy in me’ that is to blame. The good news is we can now get up, dust off our clothes and proceed to victory. We are finally getting out of our own way!
© 2013, Cherese L. Jackson. All rights reserved.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself
Great day empowered people!
As with life, brands evolve and go through transitions. New Direction Coaching Associates is excited to release our latest promotional video produced by Fresh Level Productions. We had a blast making the video and think it is just the fresh look our brand needs.
As we are in full Spring swing, I wanted to pose a question to you wherever you are. Whether in business, family or personal life, is it time to spruce up your 'brand'? Remember your brand is simply the expectations others have based on what you show them. Your family has a brand, you are a brand! And it matters how people see us.
Take a look at our promo video, we'd love your feedback.
See you at the TOP!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Let's Go Natural!
We are living in a time where it has become more and more fashionable and acceptable to go natural. Many people, including myself, have abandoned the world of relaxers or have released their addiction to the “straight dope” as the naturalist call it. Everyone is going natural and becoming more organic conscience.
If we can come together to start such a great “movement” when it comes to our something as basic as our hair imagine what would happen if we all decided to go natural with our connections and relationships.
Social networks have broken the barriers of space and time, enabling us to communicate on a 24/7 basis with more people than ever before. It appears that the focus has now turned to quantity versus quality, Superficiality versus authenticity! In an ironic twist, social media has managed to make us less social; a substitute for the real thing.
How do we communicate effectively and build deeper, more authentic relationships when we utilize only words (some as little as 140 characters) instead of voice, face and body expression to get all the important and powerful distinctions that often contradict the words?
With all the powerful social technologies at our fingertips, we are more connected – and potentially more disconnected – than ever before.
Here are some tale tale signs we are less connected now more than ever:
1. Anyone can hide behind a text, e-mail, or Facebook post. The ever evolving twitter platform, projecting any image they want and creating the illusion of their choosing. We can be whoever we want to be. And without the ability to receive, otherwise organic, nonverbal cues, our audiences haven’t got a clue.
2. You can know a lot of people and even be popular online, but never develop real connections. If the dynamics of the relationships we pursue are not adequate, they won’t bring any perceptible value in your life. The truth is, online we spend great lengths hiding who we really are only to settle for superficial pseudo relationships.
3. Our ability to build and maintain healthy relationships is the single most important factor in how we get along in every area of life. We cannot ‘do life’ alone. Most of us have learned how miserable life really can be when you are cut off from meaning connections. All of life’s successes come from initiating relationships with the right people and then strengthening those relationships by being authentic.
‘Social media’ is making us less social. We’re disconnecting from the real world. I’ve been guilty many, many times of being at an event where every single person, including me, spent the first 5-10 minutes checking in on Facebook or Foursquare, taking a picture of the location on Instagram, reading their Twitter feed, checking Facebook notifications, and even emails.
I believe it’s time to go natural. To eat meals with friends and loved ones and not care about what else is going on in our “social” network. Take time to disconnect, relax and take in the beauty around them. This is the “organic” world that produces authentic and healthy relationships.
I remember being on vacation and everywhere I walked, I noticed more people than not staring at their phones and not looking around. They were at the dinner table eating, while headstrong into their phone. They were at the pool soaking up sun, but still hooked on their mobile device. They were on the beach, not looking at the amazing scenery, not communicating with the people around them, not experiencing that moment, but instead mesmerized by their Smartphone and tablets. At night they were in restaurants, clubs and bars hypnotized by the glow of their own phone.
Without saying anything at all, we’ve said to each other that we’re more interested in what’s going on everywhere else other than those that we’re with, even though that might not consciously be the case. As we keep playing into this behavior we’re becoming less present with those that are near us in social settings.
My hope simply put is for us all to slow down just a bit each day until we are finally taking in the beauties around and cultivating truly wholesome relationships along the way.
© 2013, Cherese L. Jackson. All rights reserved.
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